Challenging the Narcissistic Mother Homework

I wanted to research narcissistic mothers and the relationship with their daughters because it pertains to my writing but not something I have implemented yet. This is something I have never done research on because the discovery is still very new to me.

I found an article titled “Challenging the Narcissistic Mother: About narcissistic mothers and their daughters in the stories “Apples from the Desert” and “Crying on Mother’s Shoulder” by Savyon Liebrecht”

It starts with describing the traits, which in short is, obsessiveness with oneself, lack of empathy, jealousy, strong desire for control, manipulativeness, and lack of boundaries. My favorite quote from the story is “The narcissistic legacy may pass from mother to daughter, although it is possible to block its passage if the daughter is strong, resilient, and able to reject the values on which she was raised (Määttäi et.al., 2020).”

Mothers are supposed to give love, find a place in the world, help them grow, and help instill confidence. When a mother does the complete opposite, such as the characteristics above, it can take a major toll on the child. As they grow into years of adult hood, they can carry characteristics over. This could go either way. They can be the exact opposite from their mother, when they realize everything, they have put them through and never want to follow their footsteps. They can suffer from very low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, a need to feel constantly loved from those around them, it could affect the relationships with their partners, and are always trying to please others. This could also go in a way of, they grow up with the same traits as their mother because that is all they have learned to know. No respect for others, gaslighting, playing victim, abusive behavior such as neglect to their partners or children, insecure attachments, etc.

Now there are a few different types of narcissistic personalities, two of them could be, one sees their daughters as themselves and can be hard on them and not be motherly because they want them to be the best, but they will never be good enough in their eyes. Another form could be when they have a favorite child, and another child is labeled as the black sheep. I think in this case, they take all of those behaviors as listed above, plus the other child’s success and dump it onto the “other child” which feels so much worse.

She used her research mainly based off perspectives from the daughters because they are the ones affected and most of the time the mothers never see their actions as wrong. As the title states, “Apples From the Dessert” I strongly believe that it represents a child that is growing, the world is their oyster, but they are growing in an environment that is not helping them strive. At least, that is how I wanted to see it. I am so glad I came across the article because it deeply described much of what I have went through and I never had full confirmation until now. I will definitely use her story to help with my writing.

I have not used much of Google Scholar, but it was extremely helpful with trusted, cited work. Rather than using a regular search engine and most of them are usually not credible. I know I am receiving great information, and it is user friendly. I will use this feature more often moving forward. The only downside was many articles I tried to read were not accessible due to having to pay money for them. I can see how that would easily steer a user away.

Source:

Shiri-Horowitz, Revital, and Ofra Matzov Cohen. “Challenging the Narcissistic Mother: About narcissistic mothers and their daughters in the stories” Apples from the Desert” and” Crying on Mother’s Shoulder” by Savyon Liebrecht.” (2021).